Monday, April 28, 2008

NO Sunday Photo Favorites...

...THIS week. Just had a little scare with Mom in the hospital. All is well and no need to worry, just didn't get around to taking a lot of pictures what with the trip to the hospital AND Mac being out of town.

What we DID get was a funny bloggin' story while waiting in the ER #C5 down at the Seton South Austin or whatever they are calling it nowadays....them Catholics own the entire hospital world in Austin, don't they? :)


While waiting the the ER #C5...because there were no available rooms...along came an ER nurse that frantically said they were going to have to borrow a portion of the room "just real quick". IN WHEELED MS. WASHINGTON Y'ALL...and from there, it was non-stop hilarious. The conversation went a little something like this:

Ms. Washington: Oh Oh Oh.

Nurse "Pretty Man" did I mention he was gorgeous? : Ms. Washington, what seems to be the problem?

Ms. Washington in her best Mushmouth from Fat Albert Voice: Budeep a bubba da beep my lubba.

Nurse "Pretty Man": WHAT?

Ms. Washington: Budeep a bubba da beep my lubba.

Nurse "Pretty Man": WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Ms. Washington: I SAID I'm hurting!!! (kinda slurry-like now, but certainly able to get her point across)

Nurse "Pretty Man" huff and puff: Ms. Washington, I do understand that you are hurting, but that doesn't mean you cannot enunciate your words. Now wake up and talk to me Ms. Washington.

(OH NO HE D'INT!!!! At this point Tony and I are rolling with laughter. And if Y'all knew my brother Y' would totally understand how hard it was not to laugh uncontrollably RIGHT OUT LOUD as he was squeezing his eyes shut SO hard with the "holding back".)

Nurse "Pretty Man": Now Ms. Washington, what seems to be the problem? Why are you here today?

Mushmouth...I mean Ms. Washington: Chest pains. OHHHHHHHHH.

Nurse "Pretty Man": Chest pains Ms. Washington? Have you had them before?

Ms. Washington: Yes, all day.

Nurse "Pretty Man" huff: NO, MS. WASHINGTON....I mean BEFORE today.

Ms. Washington: I don't know.

Nurse "Pretty Man": You don't KNOW Ms. Washington?

Ms. Washington: Yes, I mean yes. A couple of months ago.

Nurse "Pretty Man" y'all, he didn't SAY it outloud, but I SWEAR I telepathically heard him saying to himself in his own head..."YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME LADY!: Did you have your heart looked at, Ms. Washington?

Ms. Washington: They said I was fine.

Nurse "Pretty Man": THEY? So you had your heart looked at Ms. Washington? Did you have chest x-rays done Ms. Washington?

Ms. Washington: I don't know.

Nurse "Pretty Man": Did you have a stress test done Ms. Washington? Did THEY do a stress test on you?

Ms. Washington: I don't know. I don't remember.

Nurse "Pretty Man": MS.'ve had chest pains before and THEY checked you out, but you have no idea if they did a stress test on you? Does it hurt when I push right here? and thank the Lord that curtain was there, because at this point, he could have very well been "pushing" on her throat...

Ms. Washington: OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH. Budeep a bubba da beep my lubba.

Nurse "Pretty Man": It does? It hurts when I push right here?

Ms. Washington: I couldn't see her because of the curtain and all, but I just KNOW she sat right up in her bed as she clear as day hollared out....YES!!! (silence.....) Oh yeah, and I had a hysterectomy two weeks ago.

(I canNOT look over at my brother y'all. I just canNOT.)

Nurse "Pretty Man": You had a hysterectomy TWO weeks ago Ms. Washington, and you are just now remembering this? Why did you have that procedure done Ms. Washington?

Ms. Washington: Too much bleeding.

Nurse "Pretty Man": You could possibly have a blood clot Ms. Washington. Is there any swelling in your legs?

Ms. Washington: Yes.

Nurse "Pretty Man": Which one?

Ms. Washington: This one. Oh and this one...and....

Nurse "Pretty Man": You mean both legs Ms. Washington? Both legs have swelling?

Ms. Washington: Budeep a bubba da beep my lubba.

Nurse "Pretty Man": Ms. Washington? Ms. Washington?

Ms. Washington: OHHHHHHH, blech, gag, cough. OOOOOOOHHHHH....

(And y'all I couldn't quite understand what she was saying, but it was along the lines of something about her getting sick all over herself and I don't know what all else because I plugged up my ears so tight I couldn't even hear myself think Y'all. And then, I had to close my eyes REAL tight because when I looked up at Tony, I think I spewed my laugh all over him...but then I got to thinking about the smell...what about the smell???? I was ALREADY plugging up everything I could...but then by divine intervention or whatever it may have been, I magically heard Nurse Pretty Man through all my efforts of plugging...)

Nurse "Pretty Man": Breaker Breaker Nurses Station, get this woman some more morphine and get her out of here.

NIIIIIIIIIICE Y'all. May I never experience the world of drugs and having to go to an ER to get more.

And Y'all....that was just ONE incident that I had to endure. Mom and Tony and Shelly heard probably 800 more throughout the night.

Nice to know you can find some humor in a hospital when you are worried to death.

So glad Mom is doing better. So glad she is home and safe. So glad that Tony and Shelly could be there with her when she needed them most. So glad it's over.

Hasta La Vista Ms. Washington...May I never haver to "hear" you again!!


Anonymous said...
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rachael... said...

I missed the photo favorites, but thanks for the story!